Today was quite a day to remember, and not just because it was the last day of Year 12 classes and of high school EVER.
Today I decided to wear flats to go with my remade school dress. Then I miss the tram so decide to walk to school. Bad idea. By the time I got to school I had a giant blister on my left heel and was not doing a good job of walking. Planned to find a band-aid but got distracted by about fourty girls signing each other's dresses in the locker bay. There was no other option but to join in!
I had maths class first, and spent that signing people's dresses and asking if anyone had a band-aid. No-one did, so about halfway through I commenced my quest for the never-ending fountain of band-aids. I limped bravely to the edge of K2, climbed down that grand mountain, and through the psychic tunnel down to the lair of the Glove. Thrice, I completed this epic journey, and each time I found my way barred by an invisible barrier. Each time I had to climb back up the unforgiving mountain to K2. What was I to do? The gong sounded and the last ever meeting of pie was adjourned. I was defeated! I followed everyone out to our base camp wondering how I will survive this sad, sad day. I was checking my supplies when I saw Princess Mulan in our base camp. She invited me to go with her to hunt for food. I told her of my search for the never-ending fountain of band-aids and she offered to help me. Now there was still hope! We trekked back to the edge of K2, climbed down its unforgiving slope, and made our way through the psychic tunnel. This time, the invisible barrier was gone. It was a miracle! I entered the lair of Glove and located the never-ending fountain of band-aids. It was then that I could claim my prize. Not one, but three band-aids! To celebrate we all went hunting for some food to be prepared for lunch later than day. Moving stealthily across the grasslands we spotted our prey. The grand teen of can. All it took was a few quick moves and we had it. Some celebratory lunch for Princess Mulan! Satisfied with our hunt, we returned to base camp.
So anyway, we spent most of the day signing people's dresses and getting ours signed by others. We took a break only to go to assembly, and even then people were signing each other's dresses. During period 4 I got recruited to accompany an act for final assembly tomorrow and spent most of that time doing that. My last French class was perhaps the most productive, with fifteen of the ninety minutes spent working on a listening task. After school I had choir, and it was after that the next weird thing happened. I got home from that to find that my mum was freaking out because she forgot I had choir and had started calling people to ask where I was. Whoops. I'd forgotten to make sure my phone was charged so she couldn't reach me, although I still think that calling people was an overreaction. And because of the whole blister thing I can't wear flats any more, so there goes my princess costume. I have no idea what to wear to the last day of school and the act at final assembly tomorrow will probably be a slight disaster :(
I've been 18 since April, but have only used the 'I'm 18' card a few times.
First time: Getting painkillers from sick bay without them calling my parents. I know, glamorous.
Second time: Getting photos taken to be published online without needing a parental release form.
Third time: Signing a petition.
And I think today makes the fourth time: Voting in my council election. I felt very adult-like looking through the things the candidates proposed and numbering those boxes from 1-14.
I suppose I can't really say that it is a completely boring list. Even though I've never bought alcohol or gone to a nightclub I have practised my right to a say and have an article with a photo with me in it floating around on the internet. But I haven't even drank any alcohol. Except for trying and hating church wine and a sip of champagne in Paris. Before I was 18. That my parents don't know about. Hopefully it stays that way. And in my defence it was new year and it was only a sip!
So I guess there are a lot of people that have been taking advantage of the whole being 18 thing a whole lot more than me. But I think I'd rather be me with my list of four things than be someone else with a million or so things.
People tend to exaggerate things. It seems to be the fashionable way to speak. One thing that I've noticed, is that people generally exaggerate about things they have no experience about.
I've heard quite a few people say 'I'm blind without my glasses' or something similar, myself included. None of us have any idea what it's like to be blind, and I don't think any of us know anyone that is legally blind. I don't. Comparing a little bit of blurriness to being legally blind is quite the exaggeration.
I've recently been trying not to exaggerate things because you never know who will hear you and react in a negative way to what you say. Exaggerations are often negative, and while they may not seem harmful for for, that negativity may harm someone else.
The reason I've realised this will require a bit of back story. Since I've started getting frequent migraines, I react in weird ways to phrases that before were completely harmless and even part of normal conversation. For example, the first time someone told me they had the 'worst headache ever' I stared at them for a short while. It was a perfectly common exaggeration that would have earned them sympathy if it wasn't me that they complained to. And the shock I felt at hearing it surprised me. Since then I've been trying not to exaggerate things, because apart from the effect it may have on people around me, exaggerating breeds negativity and I don't need that in my life.
You know when you really want to do something so badly right now that it's almost impossible to resist? I've been googling stuff on the internet and it has ignited the fire to create something within me.
I've always liked making things. When I was little I'd make cars and houses out of lego for the smaller toys to use. Later on I got into making things on the computer. There were the houses I built on the Sims, the animated slideshows with a storyline on powerpoint, and when I got my first camera, the videos that I edited of my friends and me acting out random plotlines.
As I got closer to the age I am now, I lost interest in making things. I'd just moved schools, so I think I might have been a bit too busy for time-consuming hobbies. I think I did miss it though. In year 9 for my Independent Learning Project I decided to make a castle-like thing I'd heard about in Poland. It took ages but was well worth it, and I have something time-consuming like that in mind now.
I spent about an hour today googling wheat packs and rice packs because of this idea that I've had for a while that I have started obsessing about now, less than two weeks from my first exam.
Well, this is inconvenient.
At least it isn't the weekend before the exam that I'm getting obsessed about something. That happened last time and didn't end very well. Although with my luck I'll find something else to obsess about later. Or maybe just the same thing. Sigh.
Somehow I need to stuff this desire to make something in an imaginary bag (or should I say cage) and not let it out until after exams.
Why can't after exams be now?
Apparently brain fog is when your thinking goes "foggy", which for me usually means my short term memory gets really quite bad.
Today, I took bad memory to a whole new level.
This afternoon, I went to a local chemist to buy some epsom salts because I heard they could be quite relaxing in baths. My dad was waiting for me so we could go somewhere else, so my mission was to go in, get the salts, pay for them and meet him outside.
So, I went in, quickly found the salts, and quickly walked to where my dad was, outside the store, money in one hand, and the epsom salts in the other! My dad saw that I'd just walked out without making the side trip to the checkout and asked me what the hell I was doing. I realised instantly what was wrong and went back in to pay for the stuff, trying not to burst out laughing.
I suppose it was lucky there was no-one paying attention to what I was doing. If some security person had seen me walking out of the store with "stolen" goods I'm not sure how I would have explained myself. 'I meant to pay for it I swear. Look, I'm even holding the money for it.' or 'I forgot to pay for it before leaving the store. I know this seems like some line people caught stealing would feed you, but this time it's actually true.' They'd probably send me to some sort of asylum right then and there, either because they actually believed me, or couldn't believe I'd give such a ridiculous excuse.
Saying all that, this will probably be the highlight of my holidays. lol.
So today when I got home, I clicked onto the internet and started procrastinating for a little bit. The first thing I saw was a picture entitled Life lessons from Disney.
Straight away I thought: this is a sign.
Now, this may not make sense without a bit of back-story. Today I was listening to some friends being really excited about this idea they have for our last-day-of-school costume. And the idea was... Disney princesses!
At the time I was mostly neutral about the idea but now I find myself getting kinda excited. I don't know why, maybe it's because the idea now has some sort of deeper meaning for me. Or maybe I'm just kinda superstitious. Yeah, I'm probably just being superstitious.
Today I saw this post on the Brave Girls Club website, and felt it was particularly applicable to everyone doing VCE at the moment.
Dear Soulful Girl,
All you can do is all you can do. There's really nothing more that you can do, so fretting over things that you don't have any more time, energy or resources to accomplish is only going to make things miserable when they don't have to be. It's time to slow down, sweet friend. It is ok.
When you have done all that you can, please let it be enough. This means, when you have done all that you can while also getting enough sleep, exercise and time to recharge...this doesn't mean getting all that you can done with 2 hours of sleep, a meal at a drive-through and running as fast as you can everywhere you go....feeling miserable, strung out and cranky.
Life is as crazy and harried as we allow it to be. When we want to make things special for those we love, we need to remember that what they want most is US. They want time with us. They want us to feel good and to be in a good mood and to be present. They want happy memories that include us. Sometimes this means that we must simplify so that we do not fall apart. Some times this means we need to let go of our idea of perfection and just show up AS IS.
So, please sit down with yourself and be realistic. What is necessary and what is not? What is making you crazy and could be let go of? What do you want MOST to give? Prioritize and let some things go...it is ok. YOU matter. YOU are the best gift you can give. YOUR time, your heart, your words, your presence....THAT is the greatest gift.
You are so loved.
A message from your friends at the Brave Girls Club - www.bravegirlsclub.com
I especially think that the bit about putting sleep, exercise and rest in front of doing work is a great reminder. It's going to be so easy to burn out between now and final exams, so it is important to take care both physically and mentally.
I think I like spring. It's still a reasonable temperature but there're periods of sun to warm everything up. I even like the wind that's been happening these past few days, because it mixes up the air and makes it feel fresher.
It's the same thing with the rain, as long as I'm not stuck in it. The air somehow seems cleaner after rain.
The world seems to be waking up after a long sleep. The fruit trees in my backyard are starting to flower with pink and white blossoms, a small bit of beauty on their sad bare branches. I even see the occasional dragonfly buzzing around.
The days are getting longer. While this does mean more daylight, it also means that I don't wake up early enough to see the sunrise. Sunrises are preeeeeeety :)
Yesterday I found the most wonderfully awesome channel on youtube. It's called ThePianoGuys and has really cool covers of various songs.
I loved in particular the piano solo of Pirates of the Caribbean and Harry Potter themes, and found out that there's sheet music available. So now, I really, really, really, really, really, really, really want to buy it so I can have a go at playing it.
There's only one problem: It is exam week and I really should be studying.
It's really bad timing because I'm obsessing so much by watching the videos and trying to play the trial versions of the sheet music and would be doing it so much more if I didn't feel the need to study for exams so much.
I am actually obsessing so much that there is quite a bit of temptation to just ditch exam revision and obsess 24/7. Which would be a very, very bad idea. Not to mention that I care quite a lot about how I do at school so for something to overtake that is really quite unusual a few days before exams.
I think I'll save the obsessing for after exams, but until then I'll just have somehow suppress it. :(