I think I may be guilty of being mean to myself. I expect myself to be able to do the things I'd planned to do that day, no matter what. If something does get in the way, I try and do everything normally anyway and get frustrated with myself when I fail.
Nothing seems to be a good enough excuse. If I'm sick, well, it's not like I'm in hospital or dying so I should be able to do it anyway. If I'm in pain I should be able to ignore it. If I'm just too tired and can't be bothered I wonder if I'm just being lazy.
Does this sound a bit harsh? Because for some reason it's what I expect of myself, even though it sounds absurd when I write it down. And that's probably because it is absurd.
The weird thing is, people I know expect similar things of themselves. They try to do a million practise exams and get upset with themselves when they don't do them all. They compare themselves to everyone else and don't seem to get that everyone has different strengths and weaknesses, and most importantly, that everyone one of them has something great and wonderful about them.
Writing that, I realise that it is so easy to tell people that they do too much and should not compare themselves to others, but in saying that I am technically a hypocrite because that is what I do myself. So, I need to make a conscious attempt at changing my own habits, because I can't tell anyone to change theirs if I am not making an attempt.
Dear me, Be nice to yourself. Let yourself rest when you are tired. Put your health and well-being first. Remember that sleep is not optional, but compulsory. And make sure listen to your body and your inner voice. Please, take care of yourself. From me.
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